Questions and Answers About My Life
If you are not familiar with Storyworth, I must explain. Last Christmas, Loretta and Mike got me a gift account / subscrition to a website called Storyworth. (You must have an account to get into it.)
The program is .... every week, Storyworth emails you a question regarding your life (see them all below), and you write your response. At the end of the year, you then have compiled a nice "scrapbook" of stories and comments about how you remember your life.
I have done my best to make my answers interseting, honest and complete. But it became clear to me how vaguely I remember the details; it is also hard to sort out my present emotions from the real ones of old times / younger Daves.
The questions come in random order (not starting with baby questions and working up through old age questions), and that's pretty much how they are listed here.
Finally: I consider this as a draft I would send to an editor before printing (if it were a book). I plan to revise it in the future, as the mood strikes me.
How did you get your first job?
The recruiters from each company came to our school in the senior year and interviewed us. I took 5 interviews and got 5 job offers from airplane, helicopter and engine companies. I missed one interview (forgot about it), wearing shabby jeans and shirt, caught the recruiter leaving the building, handed him my resume and got a job offer in the mail a few weeks later !!
What was your first boss / job like?
My first job after college was with Northrop Aircraft is Southern California. I was in the Airplane Performance group, and my boss was a decent guy - Joe Bligh. Our group calculated filght characteristics, based on accelerometer data installed on test aircraft (The Northrop F-5 shown in that picture).
This is the book that solidified my desire to be an aeronautical engineer: Millikan's "Aerodynamics of the Airplane". We used this for 2 courses in Brooklyn Tech HS, combined with sheet metal and engine repair shop classes. This is the only HS book I saved over the years. It is now at least 60 years old.
A Brooklyn classmate of mine, Joe Garone, took a job in the same group, and we actually lived in a nearby apartment with another classmate, Gene Herber.
The boss was an easy going guy, but office culture was very different in 1966. No leaving your desk except for a good reason. Coffee break (2 a day) was announced by a soft bell, and a goodies cart was wheeled around to your cubicle. The nice soft bell also rang when break was over.
A lot of engineers were ex military pilots - really good people to hang around with. Very good mentors.
Sadly, seven months after they hired many of us, Belgium cancelled a big F-5 contract and 200 or so of us new hites were laid off, and I moved down the street to Northrop electronics, and in retrospect that was not a good decision as it changed the course of my next 6 years or so doing stuff I had to learn on the job, leaving airplanes behind. Bad move.
Are you an extrovert or introvert?
No question that I am an introvert. Dealing with people is always a strain for me, and so is the anticipation of dealing with them.
Why? .... good question .... let me speculate.
As a child, I was pushed hard to do well in school, by my parents and Catholic school nuns and "Brothers". On top of that, it's in my DNA to overthink everything and try to figure stuff out, explain stuff, optimize everything I do. Something like a drive to be as perfect as people expect me to be. This is a curse.
Science, technology, math (these are not "social" endeavors) give you the opportunity to get endlessly more knowledgeable, limitless realms for overthinking stuff, an infinite struggle to find "perfection" (even if you can't define that). Once your DNA and your parental / teacher environment send you along that path, "social" experiences become uninteresting. Socializing is down that other road you turned away from back at the intersection way back there.
High school was another force encouraging me to be an introvert. I did not like the environment of high school, so I just mentally blocked it out of my life. I did have some good friends and good times there, but we very rarely socialized out of school. (My HS mates and I lived many miles apart and took long rides on public transport to get to school. So "hanging out after hours was pretty much impossible). For the most part they were pleasant classmates, not personal friends. (I can only think of 2 classmates that I ever hung out with outside of school. Someday I will write them up here.)
That was fine with all of us, and my guess is that most of my classmates would be considered introverts by most people.
There now .... didn't I over-answer that question !!!
Are you still friends with people you knew in high school?
No - we scattered all over the country as we graduated. And our lives went down separate roads. I sometimes envy people who got jobs right after high school and stayed "close to home". But maybe that's just a myth.
What was your dad like when you were a child?
Let's make note that these are the impressions of a child, let's say 5-15 YO. My adult impressions (looking back) are built on the memories recorded by a child in a child's mind. I may rethink things, but the events that are recorded in my brain were recorded by a child.
I was a very good baselball player when I was 10 or so - especially good in the field. Dad was very encouraging, never harsh in criticising. I specifically recall him saying "Don't chase after the ball - run to where it is going." He also taught me to put my body in front of a choppy grounder so if it doesn't go in my glove, it'll stop at my belly !!
There was no Little League back then. We chose up sides from neighborhood kids and never did the same exact team ever exist again.
Dad was a very very handy guy with tools. He could (and did) make anything for the house.
He worked as a foreman at the Swift&Co. ice cream plant in Brooklyn. He of course was a union guy. They closed the plant when I was in college and he was out of work for a while, so Mom got a job - in the Federal Reserve bank in Manhattan. I can't remember how long he was unemployed until he got a job at another ice cream plant - MeadowGold I think.
For one summer I worked at Swift and saw the various production lines. I did miscellaneous junk jobs. Most exciting was working in the freezer (effective temperature with the big fans blowing was -30F ).
Dad was a hobbyist calligrapher in the very early days, and he had a set of special pens, nibs, inks that he printed stuff with.
Then he got the hobby of making pictures and designs and table-tops using small tiles that he cut into mosaics. I actually found an old picture that has one of his tile tables in it - on the right there.
Most impressive was his record collection (78 RPM!!) of 1930s-40s big band jazz. He knew all the lyrics to all the songs, and as a child, I knew them too. And at large family dinners, they would always stand me up and make me sing Al Jolson songs.) That music was playing all the time, and it's what formed my first vision of the grown up world - along with the old movies they played on TV. That's what I was expecting of the grown up world that I would enter. (I was wrong!)
Dad was hard working and very easy going, and appreciated his life. By comparison, when I was 35-45 (his age in these remarks), I was a smart ass and had a big ego. He was the opposite.
The most upsetting thing I can recall about Dad was when a powerful NY realtor bribed enough politicians to buy the entire Coney Island neighorhood we lived in at disgusting low prices. Most homeowners just covered their mortgage loans and lost any free market equity they had. We lost our home, Dad was devastated and it effected him for years. That was my first awareness of who actually runs this world and who gets trampled on.
Dad's favorite singer was Frank Sinatra, and I had lots of smart ass remarks about that over the years. Dad always just replied, "You're right, he has bad intonation [can't hit notes even when he tries] but I like is style".
What is one of your favorite children's stories?
Peter Rabbit - I had a red 78RPM record of Peter Rabbit and Farmer McGregor.
What were your grandparents like?
Ahhh.... read here : A Page for My Grandparents
What were your favorite toys as a child?
Oh ..... so many to choose from.....
My little pastic train set (wind up motor), my first 2-wheeler bike, water pistols in bright colors, cap pistols - especially my very real looking Colt 45 replica that shot caps.
How do you like to spend a lazy day?
OK .... fast forward to today ... "Every day is Sunday". Since I retired. The demands of business pressure and the judgements of everything you do (everyone's a critic) are gone. You have to get used to no one caring what you do - it's good and it's bad. Took me a few years to get passed the feeling that my days are worthless.
What do I do all day? Honestly I have no typical day. Things I do:
- Walk my camera around the animal sanctuary.
- Drive into Boston Museum of Fine Arts.
- Go to the Botanic Garden.
- Putter around the yard of basement.
- Watch a vintage movie and cut out mp4 clips for amusement.
- Surf the internet to constantly reaffirm my belief that the 7/8's of the world's people and 93% of Americans are morons.
- Take Deb on a drive around somewhere.
Did you ever move as a child? What was that like?
I was born in Brooklyn, and lived in 6 houses before graduating and moving to California. As a kid, I did not like moving. Felt my life (and my family's) was being upended by people who didn't even know who we were. Best house ever was in Coney Island and when I think of my childhood, I think of those years (1955-1960/61). Second best was 18th street (Grandma Leo owned that 3 family house). Cousins Lucia, Marie & Joanne lived on the floor above; cousin Ronnie lived down the street.
The video clip is at Grandma Leo's back yard in January 1954 (or close to that - it was Sally's baptism day ??). Coming down the stairs: Bobby, Ronnie, Joanne, Me, Maria, Lucia.
That house was taken by the city to build an expressway.
Our Coney Island house (where the red balloon is) was taken by corruption and bribery to build large scale apartments. We played ball in that very nice ballfield of Lincoln HS. All the neighborhood kids went to school there, except me - I took the train across Brooklyn to Brooklyn Tech HS. It sucked, and I swore my kids would never go to a specialized school.
What was your favorite candy as a child?
Here are a few of my nostalgic favorites
How did you experience Neil Armstrong's moon landing?
I remember the excitement we all had leading up to it, but I cannot for the life of me remember actually watching the landing in real time. Of course we saw it many times as the days went by.
How did your parents pick your name?
I am named after my father's father - in the picture there. Ironically he died a few weeks after I was born.
Which sports teams were you a fan of as a child?
Ohh... break my heart. I was a kid religiously devoted to the Brooklyn Dodgers. I had all the cards of all the 1950's players and idolized them all.
Then, when I was 12, my childhood world came to an end .... On May 28, 1957, National League owners vote unanimously to allow the New York Giants and Brooklyn Dodgers to move to San Francisco and Los Angeles, respectively, at the mid-season owner's meeting in Chicago, Illinois.
I actually did not understand how that was possible - they were the Brooklyn Dodgers !!! What are you guys talking about ???
I realized then that baseball was not a religion, it is a business. I believe that event was my very first exposure to the disappointments of life. Sounds too damatic, but it's true. I immediately lost all interest in it and have never paid attention to teams, players or "world champions" since then.
Were you well behaved or badly behaved?
I was much too well behaved as a child. Don't know who to blame for that - my parents or my DNA .
I don't wish I'd been serious trouble, but sh#t kid get some spunk and throw a brick through the church window or something will ya !! Just to see what happens.
What famous or important people have you encountered in real life?
I once saw Karen Valentine crossing the street in Manhattan. I think she smiled at me.
What are your favorite musicians, bands or albums?
Well, I am pretty close to 78YO so my musical tastes have gone through lots of change through the decades. Let me try to organize:
- As a 10YO child: 1930's & 40s Big Band swing, Al Jolson (my Dad's 78RPM records).
- As a 10-15YO: 1950's Rock and Roll - DooWop and Rockabilly. I did not like the sweet ballads sung by pretty boy wimps to screaming teenybopper girls.
- 15-21YO: I migrated to Jazz and Folk Music. I dropped the folk music once the craze was over, but 1940's - 1960's small combo Jazz remains the love of my musical life. After I got my cochlear implants working properly, I quickly enlarged my Jazz CD collection and often Bluetooth the stuff into my head all day long.
- 21-40YO: Just whatever they were playing on the radio. I had a family and kids and didn't have much time for music.
- 40-50YO: I got into "New Age" music which had a very relaxing effect during my personal problems of that period.
Did you have a car in high school?
Are you serious? I didn't have a car until I was a year out of college (22YO) living on my own in California. First I had a Honda motorcyle (350cc SuperHawk) and my first car was a Jaguar 3.8MkII sedan that I bought to impress a girl (Linda O'Brien who looked like a 1960's version of Cindy Lauper).
Who are your favorite artists?
Oh, this could on and on, but I won't let it.
I am very open minded when it comes to "art" (painted art). I don't look at a painting and ask "Does this entertain me?" - because of movies, TV, & the internet it is widely assumed that the purpose of visual "art" is to entertain the viewer.
But there is another, maybe more important, purpose - to tell the viewer something. Typically it's like the artist saying
"This is what the beach looked like to me a few days ago. I am not asking for you opinion or your critique, I am simply telling you that this is what the beach looked like a few days ago".
And that's how I look at a painting ... what is this person showing me? if he/she had written this up in words, what would the words say?
Oh, for certain, I look at some pictures and say "This guy is out of his mind (e.g., Jackson Pollock). Or this woman is pulling my leg, right?" I don't like everything I see in a painting (or read into a painting?).
Well, that lecture aside, I do have a single favorite artist - Elisabeth Vigee LeBrun. I enjoyed her paintings so much that I bought the MetMuseum's book on her work and read her autobiography (e-book) and I adored her even more after reading that.
Fascinating woman - living, surviving, thriving, rambling around Euope and Russia through the French Revolution. To be sure, her memoir and her attitudes about people and the life of the times influence the choice of my "favorite artist".
For more about her: metmuseum.org.
A very good (IMDB= 8.1 ! ) "docudrama":
Vigee Le Brun: The Queens Painter
How is life different today compared to when you were a child?
O God .... are you serious ??? I was born in 1945 !!!
Well, to start with, here is the world my generation was born into .....
I'll spare you the scenes of bombed out post-ww2 Europe, war prisoners, concentration camp victims, soldiers shooting entire families in front of the cameras, broken and burned returning soldiers ........ a world in ruins.
And today, people say "The baby boomers ruined the world"..... I love it.
That aside, I will say that the 1950's in the US (and I think Europe as well) were very upbeat, hopeful, positive outlook years, despite the Cold War between Russia and everyone else. "Peaceful Coexistence" was only possible if all players had enough weapons to put the fear of god into everyone else.
However, as a child of the 50s (I was 5 - 15 YO during that decade) wordly realities came upon me slowly as I grew up. The 50s (seen in retrospect) was a fabulous decade considering the decades that preceded and followed it.
Do you believe that people can change? Why or why not?
I interpret this to be a serious, or solemn question, and it does not simply ask "can people change their choice of hobby or sports team?"
Generally speaking, I think people only change their beliefs and view of life after an intense (positive or negative) event. As long as life cruises along as usual, people stay the same (there's no motivation for change).
I also imagine people can change beliefs slowly (not an intense event) if exposed for a long period to a radically changed social, communal or physical environment.
Have you pulled any great pranks?
No. To this day, I don't see what's funny about "pranking" people. I see it on the internet all the time, and usually it just pisses me off,
Have you ever doubted your faith?
I assume this refers to religious faith, so yes very definitely I have doubted the various religious beliefs I've had over the decades. I have settled on a vague science-rooted mindset regarding existence in this universe, regarding "God" and souls, pre-life & post-life realms.
I don't usually talk about this to avoid the infinite rabbit hole of all religious conversations. What I believe is between me and whomever / whatever my soul must (?) answer to.
What was your Mom like when you were a child?
When I think of Mom in the early days, this video clip shows who I remember.
The picture on the left is before I got here !
Mom loved us kids like a mama bear. She'd yell at us and was very demanding of our behavior (Dad was much more easy going). But it was always clear that she was pushing to be our best, she was not ever "mean" in any way
I loved her Italian food cooking - the Gold Standard.
Mom's story is very well documented in my journal page that combines Mom's writings and Lorettas "scrapbook" entries: Mom's Story
What is the farthest you have ever traveled?
Italy. Love it. Opened my mind for sure, along with the UK and Paris. Really sorry I did not travel Europe in my younger days, but you can't do everything in one life.
What is one of the most expensive things that you've ever bought?
Putting my houses aside.... in terms of % of annual salary, I think my 1968 Dodge Charger R/T is at the top of the list. It cost me half a years' gross pay !!!
How is your faith different from your parents' faith?
My parents were devout Catholics, and raised us kids to be the same. I decided I did not want to be Catholic when (I was 10YO) a nun threw a book at me for making a mistake. I have never regretted leaving that religion, although I know many nice people who are Catholic.
Over the years I have also gone to Mormon and Methodist churches. I decided Mormons are not nice people once you get passed their nice appearance and get inside their beliefs. Methodists are nice.
How did you decide when to change jobs?
Well, I left each of these jobs for these reasons ......
- Northrop aircraft : got laid off (1967)
- Northrop electronics: got bored (1969)
- Aerojet General / Ordnance: went to larger company (GE) that didn't go broke every December. (1972)
- GE Aircraft engines (Lynn,MA): actually went through 4 jobs there (Lynn) in 5 years out of boredom, then transferred to Indiana, chasing promises made by a high-ranking mentor. (1978)
- GE Motor Div: Jack Welch took over GE and closed factories and sold off manufacturing patents and businesses to foreign businesses. Transferred to GE Turbines (Fitchburg), again following my guardian angel. (1982)
- The closed Fitchburg at end of 1999, and I went to work for GE Greenville, SC, working out of my basement until I retired in 2007.
What were you like when you were 30?
That was back in 1975. We lived in Massachusetts and I worked at GE aircraft engines. Loretta was 5, Mike was 4, Catherine was 3 years in the future.
Personally, emotionally I was pretty burned out, having just finished 3 years of after-hours MS degree, on top of demanding job. In retrospect, my home personality was negligent, as I felt worn out all the time.
In retrospect, I would make different personal decisions than I did back then. True to my middle class upbringing, I put too much value on work and a stable long term income (in a demanding industry).
What was your childhood bedroom like?
Wow, that's going back too far. I can only remember my college years bedroom, when my folks lived on Bay 25th St.
I had a very small room off the kitchen; one window that looked immediately into the window next door which was probably just 15ft away. I spent my life in that room or on the porch, either studying, listening to my desk radio or playing guitar.
I still have that guitar (in the picture, shown in a new case I just bought for it), it is truly the treasure of my life. It really is. My spiritual link to the real me.
I smoked heavily in those days - 2 packs a day, unfilter Camel brand cigarettes. The room would be dense with smoke; ocassionlly, I'd open the window and swish the door back and forth to clear it, and then go back to smoking. When I woke up in the morning, I'd light up a cigarette before I even sat up !!!!
What was your first big trip?
Well, that has to be when I moved to southern California, right after graduating. It was exciting, but a major culture shock. I lived there 6 years, working and living in several places just south of LA.
Next big trip was vacation to LasVegas : Vegas1999
First big international trip was to Italy, with Mike (2009): Italy2009
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
"Perfect happiness" ... what a concept. Do you mean idealistically, outside of human existence? Or "the best we can hope for in this real world" ?
I'll go with the second concept ... best an Earthly human can hope for =>>
Clearing your mind of outside forces (ideas, opinions, attitudes, prejudices, beliefs); clearing your mind of your internal ideas, opinions, attitudes, prejudices, beliefs. Imagining yourself to be invulnerable and endless.
Teach / train yourself to get into that state of mind whenever you desire.
Do that and you will be happy at least for a short period, despite the realities of this "real"(that's debatable) world we are embedded in.
If you could choose any talents to have, what would they be?
- Woodworking / cabinet making
- Welding
- Cooking
What were your friends like in high school?
My high school classmates were mostly geeks; best of them (personally) were the guys who did well in shop classes - they were regular people.
That's me on the far left, helping tear down a vintage airplane engine.
What foods do you dislike? Have these changed over time?
There are very few foods that I dislike. Mostly very spicy hot stuff.
I find many dishes boring for lack of herbs and flavorful spices, but I wouldn't say that I "dislike" the food.
Of all foods I can think of that I have eaten and liked for the longest time, I'd say canned tomato soup !! Seriously. I remember it as a child and I still like it. It relaxes me !!
And of course, Italian cooking is a top favorite.
In my youth, I loved shell fish. We'd get the stuff right off the boat in Sheepshead Bay. Eat it right there where the fisherman cut them open (raw clams) or in a restaurant on the dock. .... sadly, I cannot eat that stuff any more - my digestive system isn't up to it. This is a case where I like the stuff but I can't eat it !!
but strangely I enjoy raw fish sushi !?! Go figure.
Who did you date while in high school?
I did not have a steady girlfriend in HS. I dated friends of friends and their friends, but nothing steady.
What are your favorite movies?
Oh God, got a few weeks to go over this ? I have about 600DVD's of some of my favorites and the list grows weekly.
Which sports did you play in high school?
I was mildly okay in gymnastics. I was not on the gym team, but was a gym "leader and spotter" which means I monitored the various equipments being used as a safety coach. This went well until 1959 when I myself flew off the highbar, cleared the spotters, cleared the mats and landed on my head. unconscious, concussion, hospital, missed 4 weeks of classes, couldn't walk up stairs at school for a year.
But I studied math (geometry) while I was out. Had a test the first day back and got the highest grade in the class. The teacher was amazed that I even took the test. Which reminds me .... in elementary school, I won the Math metal, and I still have it !!
(Notice how I slyly diverted the topic from sports to math ???)
What did you wear when younger that mortifies you now?
Well, I actually didn't wear any mortifying stuff. I always dressed with whatever subculture I felt like at the time (beatnik, very hip jeans and tie, shabby homeless guy - whatever).
Today, at 77, I can wear anything I please and people will ignore it :)
I would say that I wear clothes today that would have mortified me way back then - which is the opposite of the question here.
What were you like in college ?
For the first two years, I was an angry young aspiring writer (in an Aerospace Engineering department of a technical college!!!)
This is the picture of our Counterweight Magazine staff. You can feel the tension and the social anger here, can't you. We wanted to change the world and we wanted to do it today !!!
We had a free hand as to what we wrote into the magazine, and it was a great experience, even though most students never got the message if indeed they ever read it. The faculty read it voraciously and we got lots of feedback and 80% of it was "We gotta shut this down now !!!" They never did, and I had a few lunchroom discussions about my articles with one professor or another.
However for my 3rd and 4th years I backed off on the writing and focused on engineering classes to look good on my record and get a good engineering job ...... I sold my soul to the almighty dollar !!
Well .... I am finished !!!!
